Forgiveness is a lot harder than people make it out to be. To fore-give, to grant pardon in advance of all consideration, is a radical act. It means that the trespass, whatever it was, won’t even be part of any future evaluation of the offender’s character.
You don’t get to hedge on “yes, but he did me this great harm once” when considering the fate of the man you have forgiven. I’d say that to a certain degree, to truly forgive necessitates your willingness to truly forget.
All that being said, I have forgiven and largely forgotten the trespasses of my former spouse. I am still aware that we had those experiences, but I have forgotten the bitterness and the sting of those things which had passed between us. The intensity of those emotions has long faded. I hope also that she has forgiven me.
If somebody were to call me today and inquire about her character, perhaps for the purpose of employment, I would not hesitate to offer my endorsement. Those things from the past are not a part of any evaluation I might make about her moral state today.
I say now, go in peace; you are forgiven.
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