Underworld: Blood Wars, with Kate Beckinsale

Even though Underworld: Blood Wars met all of our exceedingly low expectations, the latest installment isn’t a very good movie; even when measured against the low bar of previous Underworld films.

This isn’t a full review and I highly doubt I’ll dedicate the time to do one properly. But It’s worth a few moments to giver my overall impression of the film. It’s not good. What I enjoyed about the first Underworld hasn’t been part of the franchise for years: Surprise. I had no expectations going into each film, because I never expected a sequel.

Blood Wars takes place shortly after the events of the shockingly forgettable “Underworld Awakening” in which Selene … ahem … awakens to discover a world ruled by humans in which vampires and lycans alike are hunted to the brink of extinction. She and her lover Michael (the half vampire / half lycan hybrid) had been captured by humans and contained in a human research facility. There they were stored in some some kind of cryogenic storage along with their daughter Eve.

Underworld: Blood Wars seems to have found the previous film to be every bit as forgettable as I did. Important plot pints are glossed over or omitted completely with several issues addressed only in “blood memory” flashbacks. With a new vampire/lycan war looming, The threat from the human population isn’t even a remote concern. In fact, the film illustrates a world where Vampires still have at least one great coven. Despite the dire nature of their implied situation, the vampires clan still has time for baroque dinner parties and the lycans move about unopposed in broad daylight.

Any more would constitute a full review with spoilers and the only spoiler I want to leave you with is this: Kate Beckinsale is still romping around in a black rubber suit. If that’s your thing then I guess you won’t be disappointed here.

Originally Published 09 January 2017

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