Awesomely Bad Movies

Lifeforce – This naked space vampire is awesomely bad.


Today out of sheer boredom I happened to watch an awesomely bad sci-fi film from 1985 called LifeForce. The film is based on the 1976 book Space Vampires by Colin Wilson. I’ve never read the book, but I can only hope its better than this movie.

The Plot? A joint US/UK space mission investigating Haley’s comet discovers a huge alien spacecraft concealed in the comet’s coma. The crew, not wanting to miss an opportunity which only comes once every 75 years decides to board the alien craft where they discover the desiccated bodies of giant bat like aliens. The alien craft begins to demonstrate signs of activity but the crew decided to continue exploring anyway and soon discover the bodies of three naked humanoids in some type of suspended animation. Needless to say the captain of the mission immediately feels an overwhelming attraction to the female.

The next thing you know ground control has lost contact with major Tom and the Space Shuttle Columbia is dispatched a rescue mission. OMG! There’s been a fire! Fire in space is beautiful and extremely dangerous. The entire crew is dead but guess what? The three naked aliens in their crystal cryo-capsules are aboard and unharmed. Right then, Better take them back to Earth where aliens never pose a serious threat to humanity.

So the space girl has great tits is some kind of freakish energy vampire. When she escapes the ultra security wing of the SRC (by SRC I mean ‘Space Research Center’ and by ultra secure, I mean one sleepy security guard and a set of unlocked double doors ) There is an outbreak of space vampirism. London is fraked. 28 Days Later fraked.

Oh, the captain from the original space mission managed to escape his burning shuttle and land safely back on earth in the shuttle’s escape capsule. Didn’t you know about the escape capsules aboard US space shuttles? Apparently they always keep a single Liberty Bell 7 style command module aboard the shuttle in case a single survivor needs to bail.

Blah blah blah. the humans beat up a British hooker and Jean Luc Picard. Then proceed to fight the space vampire zombies You get the drift.

Highlights? only this: Space girl Is naked most of the movie. That’s it. There is nothing else good about this movie. Space Girl has great boobs. That’s all you need to know.

One last note. ‘Space Girl’ is exactly how Mathilda May is credited. I guess her character doesn’t even have a name. Mathilda is twenty five years older now but she’s still kind of ‘MILFy”

You might also check out more awesomely bad movies:

Event Horizon: Save yourself from Hell

Damnation Alley: this apocalyptic road trip is awesomely bad.

Formerly a graphic designer whose "pen & ink sensibilities" have become obsolete in a pixel based profession — I am a life long fan of all the rockets, robots, and rayguns who inspire our dreams of life in an uncertain future.

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