The River: Emmet Cole Found alive, hiding from zombies in gross cocoon.

Yes they find Emmet Cole. He was in some kind of cocoon this whole time. A COCOON! are you serious?  Whatever. You know what you do when something boring or stupid weakens your plot-line? You add zombies. I said ZOMBIES. That’s the second time I’ve had to repeat myself; pay attention. So, call then what you will… but nothing recovers from a weak plot point faster than the undead.

Emmet spent months searching the rain forest for an ancient tribe who believed themselves to be angels. Do you know how ardently they believed this angel business? Members of the tribe have distinctive scars on their backs where they symbolically cut of their wings. You know… because they were angels.

last episode we learned that after collapsing in the rain forest, Emmet was delivered to some kind of research facility by the very tribe he had been searching for. Oh the irony. Tess and the crew of the Magus followed clues on Emmet’s video diary to find the facility but some serious shit had gone down there. The scientists thought they could isolate a gene sequence from the local tribe and turn it into a cure for cancer. Well as luck would have it, it doesn’t cure cancer. it turns people in zombies.

What about German Kurt and his giant ass satellite phone? Turns out he’s been dialing local. Kurt’s  sex kitten fiancé has been posing as a security consultant inside the research center. When the researchers find the gene sequence they’ve been searching for she shoots up the laboratory because  “she cannot allow their research to leave this place”.  She goes all FPS Russia on the research scientists and inadvertently unleashes the a localized zombie apocalypse.

The River is almost over. you better watch the finale. You better leave a comment. You better not hide from zombies in a gross-ass, slimy cocoon.

ABC’s search for Dr. Emmet Cole ends on The River.

There hasn’t been a good mystery adventure program on network television since lost ended in 2010.  A few series have attempted to tap into the LOST vibe, but ABC seems to have succeeded once again where other networks have failed. “The River” has been one of the most interesting new television series I’ve seen in several seasons.

Global explorer and adventurer Emmett Cole has disappeared in the Amazon river basin. Cole, the host of a well known nature adventure program is believed lost until his emergency beacon is suddenly activated six months after he and his crew vanished.  Cole’s wife Tess and his reluctant son Lincoln take a television network up on their offer to fund an expedition to find him. They embark on a journey into the deepest part of the rain forest together with Emmett’s former producer and a few other intrepid individuals.

Each episode in the series so far has chronicled the supernatural phenomenon encountered by the main cast members who have  located and salvaged Dr. Cole’s ship: the Magus. Fortunately the entire vessel is a mobile studio used in the production of Cole’s television program “The Undiscovered Country”. The ship’s numerous fictional cameras provide a plausible excuse for some The River’s interesting production techniques.  ABC has been promoting the series as being “from the producer of Paranormal Activity” . That production style definitely shows in some of the more unusual camera angles.

If you have been following the series (and the  search for Dr. Cole) you’ve probably seen enough to know that the search is nearly over. What does it mean for the future of the series if the crew of the Magnus discovers the fate of Dr. Cole? While I have enjoyed the series so far, I can’t imagine that it would remain interesting very far beyond that singular focus.  The network is hinting that this is only the beginning.  What do you think?